Sorry! I know that it's not Monday, but I had a two-hour long meeting at work and then I had to stay and work a shift. By the time that all of that was over, I just had too much left to do and too little time to do it. Wouldn't it be great if there was 27 hours in a day instead of 24? Maybe then I wouldn't have so many anxiety problems.
It's amazing to finally be done what I hope is one of the final drafts of my book. Working on it for four years has been a great experience for me and it has allowed me to grow in so many ways - more than just professionally. My feelings about finishing are still all over the place, though. I didn't think I'd be able to finish before the end of the summer, and to have devoted myself so fully that I was able to write more in two months than I ever have in a year is an amazing tribute to my devotion to my work and to my hard-headedness. People tried to make me stop writing day after day. They tell me that it's a waste of time, that it's no way to start a career, that I'll never make enough money to survive and that I should focus more on my other studies than on my writing. To be honest, I'm glad that I didn't. I don't think that I've ever been more proud of myself.
The withdrawl is pretty hard to cope with though. People tell me that I work way too much and that sometimes, I just need to take a break and focus in myself. I decided that since I didn't listen to them about the first things they said about writing as a career, I should probably listen to them about this. "Taking a break," however, is not a very common term for me. I need something to focus on, something that I can do, something to keep myself busy. Now, when I'm bored and there's nothing else to do, I always want to pull out a notebook and a pen and start writing. Then, I have to remind myself that at some point, I need to stop. I've reached that point. The story is long enough, the plot is well developped, and all of the secondary details are there. There's nothing else for me to add.
Recovery. Recovery is also something I'm not very good at. One time, I hyperextended my leg and basically "popped" something - I'm not all that great with medical terminology Admittedly, I probably should have paid more attention when they were telling me what was wrong - in the back of my knee while I was playing basketball. At the hospital, I was told that I needed to be in a full, thigh-to-ankle, leg brace and on crutches for two weeks. Can you believe it!? Two weeks! Well, I ended up losing the crutches after two days, the brace was annoying so I stopped wearing it after a few days, and a week after the injury, I ran a half-marathon. That was three years ago. My knee still hurts, to this day. Note to self: when doctors tell you something, listen. Anyway, all of this to say that I think recovery is a good choice at this point because writing this book has made me miss out on so much. And so, I have set my own parameters for this recovery. First things first: getting my sleep schedule back to normal. No more trying-but-failing-to-fall-asleep-at-eleven-but-staying-up-till-three nights. No, now I try to be in bed and asleep before 10:30. So far so good. I've only been late once. Secondly, no more working until all of my assignments are up to date. I actually started to read The Catcher in the Rye as part of one of my assignments. It's actually a decent book once you get past all of the ever-present swear words. And finally, my eating habits. My vegetarian diet has really taken a blow over the last two months. I haven't started eating meat again - goodness, no. Two years and still going - I have just pretty much stopped eating vegetables, too. My diet now consists of Chinese take-out, snack foods and sugar. It's fast, I don't have to make it, and it keeps me awake longer - I'm too cheap to go out and buy coffee.
Finally, let's be honest, I need a good break. I need to relax and and be away from people and not worry about anything. That's why I'm leaving for Toronto tomorrow morning and I won't be back until Sunday afternoon... Just in time for another blog post on Monday.
So, I hope you are all doing good and continue to prosper in your own work and lives. If you're in the mood to take a break, take my advice and take one. You deserve it. And if you want a new excerpt next week, you're going to have to leave me some comments down below. No comments, no excerpt!
And instead of a song, I thought I'd leave you with a quote to reflect on this week.
If love was a choice, who would ever choose such exquisite pain? -Anna and the King
Thanks for stopping in,
Diana
P.S. I just want to give a big shout out to my friend Brooke who has always been there for me and has been one of my biggest fans over the years. I love you!
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